In person in Wellington, New Zealand
and online worldwide
I work with people who feel like life shouldn’t be this hard. Everyone else seems to be managing fine and you want that too but instead..
- Even when things are going fine, it’s hard to fully relax.
- What looks like success and strength on the outside feels like mounting pressure on the inside.
- You want to protect your boundaries but the idea of disappointing others terrifies you.
- People tell you, and deep down you know you’re being too harsh on yourself but lowering expectations feels physically impossible.
When you've learnt to stay alert, to anticipate others' needs, to keep things running smoothly, it can be hard to simply “think” your way into feeling calm. If this resonates, therapy can help you understand and change these patterns.
My approach
My approach is firmly rooted in the belief that anxiety, perfectionism, avoidance, self-criticism aren’t just personality traits. They are about protecting our sense of safety in our relationships. Our nervous system adapts to keep us safe and sometimes that means we may have developed patterns in the past that are not serving us anymore.
To help address these patterns, I use specialist approaches to healing and trauma treatment that are safe, effective and supported by research.
(IFS) Internal Family Systems Therapy
Befriending all parts of you.
IFS can help you understand and accept who you are and give you a sense of control over what’s happening inside of you.
Have you tried to reason with your anxiety or get rid of your inner critic by ignoring that part of you? Maybe you tried to bully your procrastinating part to submission? If you're anything like me, those efforts probably didn't bring the results you were hoping for.
In IFS therapy, instead of rejecting those parts of ourselves, we can befriend and understand them. When we hear them out instead of ignoring them, they often don't have to shout at us quite so loud (or give us painful sensations or symptoms).
If it feels impossible to accept something so deeply unpleasant, painful and terrifying, you came to the right place. Through IFS therapy, you can start getting to know your feelings at a pace that feels safe.
When we experience trauma, it is difficult to trust ourselves and listen to the answers within. Using trauma-informed approaches, you will be able to trust your own answers again and be your own guide in life.
I am a qualified IFS therapist having completed the official Level 1 training via the IFS Institute.
(DBR) Deep Brain Reorienting
Gentle gift of neuroscience.
DBR goes deeper than IFS and more specifically into a deeper, sub-conscious part of our brain. It is a trauma therapy that helps when talking about it isn’t enough to bring the healing you want or simply feels impossible. This could be beacuse it's too painful or because you may not have the words to capture what's wrong and why you're feeling bad, anxious or overwhemled.
DBR is a structured therapy which allows us to process trauma at its root. Modern neuroscience of DBR helps us do that without the overwhelm that's often attached to having to talk about what happened or going back to painful memories. Many describe it as being gentler than EMDR as in DBR we don't revisit painful memories in full.
Many clients find DBR helps them feel calmer, more grounded, and less emotionally stuck over time.
I'm trained in Level 1 DBR by Jessica Christie-Sands in Australia.
Polyvagal Theory
The nervous system key to wellbeing.
Polyvagal Theory can help us better understand the causes behind your anxiety, overwhelm or depression and work with them.
By understanding your nervous system, you can move between different emotions without getting stuck in survival responses such as anxiety. It's based on trauma research and wonderful for working with those of us who have lived through trauma.
I'm trained in Level 1 Foundations of Polyvagal Practice by Deb Dana and the Polyvagal Institute in the USA.
If your mind is always on, running through what needs to be done, what could go wrong, what you might have missed, and you're ready for a change, book a free call below.
Limited spaces available for new clients.